2020/10/09 09:31:04

Manners when attending a funeral

The funeral is difficult for the mourner who hosts it, but it is also difficult for the person who is invited to attend.

When attending, you have to wrap up the money that comes with commuting and funerals. You also have to know the manners of what to do with beads and clothes.



For the time being, may I attend in my favorite style?

Thinking about it, wearing a pink miniskirt or glittering jewels will make the funeral organizer feel uncomfortable. Also, is there anything I should be aware of when the called party gives a wreath or goods?

If you are new to funerals, remember the funeral etiquette point by point.



The point of clothing etiquette is awareness of bereaved families and deceased people

You will be required to wear black mourning clothes when attending the funeral. Men wear black suits and women wear black skirts and jackets.

The easy way is to buy a set that is sold as a mourning dress. Affordable sets of mourning clothes are sold not only at suit stores but also at mass retailers, so if you don't have the clothes to wear when attending, buy them in a hurry.

Basically, there is no problem if you purchase and wear a set sold as mourning clothes, and if you do not know, ask the sales floor staff and they will tell you the size and the appropriate set.

However, depending on the belief of the house you visit, it is important to check in advance, as the color of the tie may be different from black, especially for men.

Basically, black top and bottom, and white shirts are OK. If you want to wear something that you have at home instead of purchasing it as a set, you will have to unify it based on "black" in particular.

However, not all black is fine. It's best to avoid clothes with multiple layers of shiny enamel and frills, unusual designs and flashy items. Jeans and sneakers are basically NG.

If in doubt, choose something more modest than flashy or fashionable, keeping in mind that it's a funeral just because a person is dead.



Get lost in formal wear! The basics are the same for both commuting and funerals

Jewelery such as bags and necklaces are annoying for women. Also, what do you do with watches as a common problem for both men and women? There is something like that.

The bag is also basically black. Some metal fittings are unavoidable, but flashy logos, glittering ones, glossy enamel, etc. are NG. If you get lost, just try to be aware of "black" and "plain".

Similarly, refrain from glittering jewelry, and if you want to wear it, please wear a simple necklace such as pearls. If you ask a jewelry shop, they will tell you more about this.

Some pearls are goldish, but it seems common to choose simple milky white, gray or black pearls. Also, it is common to avoid doubles because of the overlap of misfortunes.

As for watches, it is safer to refrain from glittering fashion watches. If you don't want to buy a watch for a funeral, you may want to remove the watch from your bag or pocket during the funeral.

Think of the funeral as being black, and rather plain than flashy, in the corner of your head. For small items such as handkerchiefs, avoid patterns such as bright red flowers on a white background.



Is there a regional difference in condolences? Knowledge of beads

When it comes to funerals, beads are indispensable. Depending on the belief of the house you visit, beads are indispensable for most funerals.

Of course, you have to prepare it yourself, but did you know that the shape of these beads differs depending on the denomination? Depending on each sect, there are different types, with or without tufts.

You can purchase it according to the denomination of your house, but there are some types of beads that can be used in common by all denominations, so keep one that can be used for all denominations. It is convenient.



Also, did you know that the beads have taboos depending on the area?

What kind of impression do you have of the beads in the red bunch? How about pink beads? In fact, depending on the area, Akafusa is OK, and there are areas where red is taboo at funerals because it is used for celebrations. Similarly, pink may be treated differently depending on the region.

You may know where you live, but when you're invited to a distant funeral, be sure to check the beads as well. It may be safer to avoid gorgeous colors such as red and pink.




How much is the incense? Is the method different in the prefecture?

Also different from region to region is the amount of money to wrap. If you work for a company, why don't you talk about "how much should I wrap?" In the department when a colleague dies.

Actually, there are regional differences in the money wrapped up in this funeral. In addition, the amount will change depending on the proximity to the deceased person. Even within the same prefecture, the common sense of wrapping money may be different!

According to Sanwa Bank's "Financial Relationship Survey" (1997 edition), 3,000 to 5,000 yen for colleagues and friends, 10,000 yen for relatives, and age-related relationships for close relationships such as parents. There is no data of about 100,000 yen.

Also, according to the national average data for 2002, the result is 5,000 yen for friends, neighbors, and company employees, and 10,000 yen for relatives.



This is the national average, but for reference.

The amount will vary depending on whether you are going to the night and the funeral, forty-nine days separately, or at once. Please note that the amount will change slightly even for friends and relatives.

The one with proper mizuhiki is generally used when wrapping an amount of 10,000 yen or more. If you want to wrap less than that amount, for example, several thousand yen, use a simple type with Mizuhiki printed on it.

If you contact the local funeral director or the funeral hall in advance, you can get a general idea of ​​the money situation in the area. If you have an acquaintance, it would be nice to have them teach you secretly.



Is there manners in offering flowers? What you need to know when preparing goods

Relatives and close friends may not only wrap money but also give things to funerals.

Especially at homes where the funeral is the first time, there may not be enough Buddhist equipment, so we sometimes give Buddhist equipment such as incense burners as needed. We may also give wreaths, flowers to decorate in front of the Buddha, canned goods and candles.

When you are notified of the funeral, you will need to ask the funeral home or funeral director to arrange these items.

In particular, if the house consults with the funeral company that requested the funeral, it will casually bridge the gap, and in many cases it will tell you what is missing and arrange it well within the budget.

When giving things with a close relationship, it is important to be careful not to cover things with other people as much as possible.

This is also a kind of manners. If everyone gave flowers, the venue would be full of flowers.

If you don't know what to give, it's a good idea to keep a good book when you become the funeral organizer.

Make a note of who wrapped it and how much it gave, so that the next time the funeral is held at that person's house, they will wrap the same amount of money and give the right thing for the same budget. Very useful for.




The most important thing in funeral etiquette is not to offend other attendees and organizers. For example, suppose the mourner holds a funeral thinking, "The deceased loved singing so much that I would like to send him a bright enka song."

There is such a funeral! ?? Isn't the funeral more graceful? Some people may be surprised, but it is also important to match with the other party.

The funeral is for the deceased and also for the bereaved family.

The points introduced this time are the basics, but it would be great if we could attend in a cooperative manner, knowing that etiquette is important for "for the other party" and "to send the deceased comfortably".

If you have any questions, the funeral directors in each region will be a strong ally.

It is best to gently ask, "Isn't such a wreath rude?" "Is there a rule for beads?" "How much money do you wrap?"