2020/10/06 12:43:01

Basic knowledge about funeral reception

Sudden funeral, I'm confused about what to do. If you are the mourner or the bereaved family, you will be wondering what to start with.

If you are not the mourner but in a position to assist the mourner, how should you stand around? If you have to help with a funeral as a bereaved or relative, how do you help? Unless you're working at a funeral home, it's hard to get around perfectly right away when you're asked to help XX.

This time, I will talk about what to do when the bereaved family, relatives and friends are asked to help with the funeral and are entrusted with the "reception". What should I do if I am entrusted with the reception? It's easy to know so that you don't have to worry if you are suddenly asked to help with the funeral.



What is the knowledge of "reception" for funerals?

In general, I think that the most common opportunity to get involved in a funeral is to attend the funeral as an "attendant." If a neighbor, alumni, a colleague of the company, a friend, etc. dies, many people will go to the funeral in the form of attendees.

However, if you are a bereaved family member or a relatively close relative, you may participate in the funeral as the "organizer" or "helper" of the funeral, even if you are not the mourner. ..

It can be said that it is generally less likely that you will be involved in the funeral on the part of the organizer or the helper than the opportunity to attend the funeral as an attendee. That's why when asked to help the organizer, many people wonder, "How much should I do?"


In particular, the receptionist is the person in charge who comes to the funeral home and meets first, so "What kind of greeting do you want to meet?" "How should I handle the incense?" "Is it all right to say hello and accept?" You will tilt your head.

First of all, it is necessary to clarify what kind of position the receptionist is. The funeral reception is "the person who first welcomes attendees on behalf of the mourner." The point is "on behalf of the mourner".

Regardless of how the receptionist was asked or whether or not he has a blood relationship with the deceased, the funeral receptionist is on the "mourner's side (sponsor's side)". That is why the organizer does not have the attitude of "I am also a customer", "I am an outsider who is in charge of reception", and "I was actually an attendee, but I was just asked". You need to be treated as one of the side.

In other words, regardless of the relationship with the deceased or the mourner, it is not the side who says "Thank you for attending today" but the side who says it.

Since the receptionist was asked to accept the request regardless of the relationship with the deceased or the mourner, keep in mind to "behave as a person on the mourner's side (sponsor's side)". This is very important.


What are the funeral reception and the four steps?

There are several jobs at the funeral reception. If the organizer asks you to help and become a "receptionist," you will be in charge of the following tasks. As basic knowledge, I will list the work that the receptionist is in charge of and briefly explain each of them.


① Discuss the work that the receptionist should be in charge of with the person in charge of the ceremony hall and the mourner

Depending on the size of the funeral, the work that the receptionist is in charge of may change. If it is a small funeral, we will greet the attendees and guide them, and in some cases, we may also be in charge of tasks such as serving tea. If it is a large-scale funeral, the person in charge of the ceremony will often help, and the number of receptionists is often appropriate, so even at the same receptionist, it is possible to share the work such as the person in charge of encouraging bookkeeping and the person in charge of guiding to the funeral home. I can think of it. Let's confirm in the meeting the point "How much should I do?"

It is advisable to arrive at the funeral home about an hour before the meeting, greet the mourner, and hold hands with the deceased.


② When it is time for attendees to come, wait at the reception (bookkeeping office) to meet them.

We will welcome attendees and receive the incense, encourage them to book in the incense book, hand over gifts (monument items), guide them to the ceremony hall, organize the lines, etc.

At the time of reception, we will say "Thank you for your condolences (mourning)".

When you receive the incense, please receive it as "I will keep it" and encourage you to record it in the incense book. The incense book is an important reference for the bereaved family to send thank-you notes at a later date. Be sure to write it to the attendees.

Considering that the gifts of the incense can be an obstacle at the time of bookkeeping, it is okay to hand them over after the bookkeeping is completed.

After confirming that the book has been booked, we will guide you to the funeral home. We will also check that the line of the book office is not blocking the entrance to the funeral home and that it is not obstructing the passage of other attendees, and we will guide you accordingly.


③ Arrangement and reporting of delivered items

At the reception, condolences, flowers, and offerings may arrive at the ceremony hall.

Thank the courier on behalf of the mourner and bereaved family, and immediately tell the funeral home staff. If you forget to tell it, you may not be able to read the condolences at the funeral, or the offerings and flowers may not be displayed. Be careful not to forget to report it because it arrived for the deceased.

You can also make a note of the person who gave you the offering, the flower offering, and the condolence, and give it to the mourner later. Due to the hectic pace during the funeral, the bereaved family may not know "what was delivered from whom". It is useful later when the bereaved family is thanking for offerings and flowers, and it is also useful in the sense that the bereaved family can send similar items to someone when attending a funeral.


④ Management of the incense and handing over the incense to the mourner

The incense will be managed collectively and handed over to the mourner at the right time. The right timing depends on the size and progress of the funeral, so it is difficult to judge.

The main timings are "coffin", "before and after meals", and "before moving from the venue". I will give it at a calm timing. It may be difficult to talk about money when the mourner is talking to the attendees, so it is a good idea to give it when the mourner is away from the attendees.

At the meeting stage, it will go smoothly if you decide "how much management of the incense is necessary (confirmation of contents, calculation of amount, etc.)" and "when to hand over the incense".

At what timing does the receptionist stand in the incense?

The problem with the reception is that "I want to meet the deceased, but I can't leave the reception unattended, so it's difficult to go to the incense" and "It's difficult to go to the bathroom." In this regard, we have to think about rotation, being careful not to leave the reception unattended. Let's also decide whether to gently exit when the attendees are interrupted, or whether the receptionist will stand in the incense in order.

The problem is when there is only one receptionist. If you have a request to ask yourself to accept the reception, it is important to consult with someone at the meeting stage when you stand in the bathroom or incense and ask someone to take over for a few minutes.

The person in charge of the funeral home often helps, so even if you are in charge of reception by yourself, you should be able to get out of it if you have a meeting in advance for a few minutes. However, in that case, if you do not send it properly, including the management of the incense, there is a possibility of financial trouble later.

The funeral is a hectic one. It's important to tell the mourner, the bereaved family, other staff, and the funeral home staff even a little so that mistakes don't cause further confusion because of the hectic pace.



If you are asked to help with a funeral and take charge of the reception, you need to keep in mind what you are doing and what you need to be aware of. It will be the basic knowledge of the funeral reception, so keep it in mind regardless of how much work you do.

Depending on the scale of the funeral and the number of attendees, how much work the receptionist will do and how many people will handle the reception will change. In order to eliminate mistakes, "I am the one who stands on the side of the mourner", "Properly report even a little thing", "Make a note of things that you might forget or want to tell the bereaved family", "Since Kaori is money, later It is easy to get into trouble. Please be aware that "management is strict" and "discuss questions at meetings". Just being aware of it will help prevent you from being busy and panicking.

The funeral is an important ritual that can be said to be the curtain on the life of the deceased. Since we will help you with such a ritual, we want to make it a funeral where the deceased can leave with peace of mind.