What should I do when I am in mourning? The right way to spend your mourning period

Mourning is the period of mourning for the death of a family member, mourning for the deceased, and mourning.

"I'm in mourning, so I'll refrain from celebrating."
"Because I am in mourning, the New Year's card is"

Is a common conversation in our lives.

Is there a taboo as a manner during such mourning?

I know that New Year's cards are useless, but I'm not sure about anything else. I haven't experienced mourning yet. I've experienced it, but I'm still not sure. I would like to briefly explain the correct mourning for such people. Rest assured that "correct" is not that difficult.

Is "mourning" different from mourning? How long are you in mourning? Basic knowledge

In addition to the word mourning, the word "mourning" is often heard. What is this? I hear people say that they don't know if it is used in the same meaning as in mourning, or if it refers to something in particular during mourning.

In fact, "mourning" and "mourning" are completely different things.

"Mourning" is a period of mourning for the deceased and organizing one's own mind when a close person such as a relative or family member dies.

During the period of mourning, people tend to mourn and avoid attending celebrations or giving congratulations.

"I'm still stuck in sadness right now." "I can't organize my mind, so I'm celebrating."

However, even if it is basic to refrain from doing so, it is difficult to postpone the celebration in modern times, so it does not mean that you should never participate in the celebration even during mourning.

It also depends on the degree of familiarity. Generally, the period of mourning is one year.

On the other hand, "bardo" does not mean "healing" or "mourning", but in accordance with the idea of ​​Shinto, which treats death as a filth, until the 49th day of the abomination, celebrations and worship at sacred places are held. Not only do they not, but they basically spend their time quietly at home until the end of the period of filth.

In this way, mourning and mourning are different. Since the period and the basic way of thinking are different, it is a knowledge that you should remember when thinking about manners in mourning.

So what should I do during mourning? What is the rule of mourning?

So what should we do during such mourning? What should I not do?

Just because you are in mourning, there is no rule that "this is absolutely useless!"

Certainly, those who care about it are very concerned, but mourning is a period in which a family member who has lost a close relative thinks of a family member who has died quietly and heals his or her heart. However, if someone pushes you to do this, it may put a strain on your injured heart.

It is generally considered that mourning is a period of refraining from celebrating or giving a celebration.

The reason for preparing postcards during mourning is to refrain from conveying words of joy, and it seems to also mean to avoid giving congratulations.

However, even if a blessing event is in mourning, it is difficult to shift it due to recent circumstances, so it is often done as it is, and congratulations are also performed as usual depending on the circumstances.

There is a guideline that "generally, it looks like this during mourning", but there is no absolute rule. Because it is a period to heal the mind and think of the dead. It feels like each person.

However, if it is a celebration of another family, which is a local event, I am wondering if other people will care.

In such a case, let's gently ask the elderly in the area or a funeral director. Then, it will tell you where you are worried that "our area is like this".

Why should I avoid celebrations during mourning?

In general,

Avoid celebrations
Avoid congratulations
Refrain from radiant seats

It is said that this is how to spend time in mourning.

Keep in mind, however, that this is not absolute and has been mitigated according to the circumstances and circumstances.

It's not a bad idea to avoid actively inviting someone to a celebration just because they are in mourning.

However, if the other person really wants to celebrate, it does not mean "don't come because you're in mourning," "don't go because you're in mourning," or "don't because you're in mourning."

It's not that you have to avoid celebrations, but because it's a period of mourning, it's a case-by-case feeling.
Some people think that not only the New Year's party but also the consolation party and the ordinary drinking party are refrained from the depth of mourning, and if the 49th day is over and it is forever good, the deceased will laugh in heaven. Some people are willing to go out when they are told.

For close friends, it's best to keep an eye on the way you think about mourning.

As for general events, mourning is generally one year, so you can refrain from doing so for "general" reasons. The degree of familiarity also changes, so it is still a case-by-case basis.

Is it a violation of etiquette if you do not use postcards during mourning?

Also, if you are in mourning, do you absolutely have to say hello with a mourning postcard? That is not the case.

Certainly, preparing a postcard in mourning around October and saying "I will refrain from greeting the New Year because my relatives have died this year" is very kind in the sense that I will not let the other party post a New Year's card. .. But this is not absolutely necessary.

It is not a violation of etiquette to send a sympathy during the cold or to write an ordinary letter during mourning, so I would like to express my sympathy for the heat and say, "I will refrain from greeting the New Year this year, but please stay healthy next year.

I would like to send you a letter again. "Of course, it is not a bad idea to contact the other party in writing. Also, if you have a close relationship, it is not a bad thing to ask about the latest situation and make a phone call.

However, for people who are polite, have a relationship at work, or have distant relatives, it is still common to use postcards during mourning, so it may be safe to use postcards as much as possible.

Finally

Mourning is a period for the "heart".

That's where you refrain from doing so, so why not think hard and secretly face your feelings and memories of the deceased?

Also, when inviting or greeting a person in mourning, consider the relationship with that person and select a general method such as a business-like relationship or a mourning postcard if the relationship is distant. The point is to respond on a case-by-case basis.

Because it is a period of mind, I want to think carefully about what leads to the peace of the other person's mourning. Also, because I am in mourning, I want to think about what the other person thinks and act accordingly. It's difficult, but isn't it important?