2020/10/04 12:36:58

Manners when invited to a funeral meal

At the funeral, we eat and drink at two times, a wake and a funeral (funeral). Eating and drinking may be omitted for family funerals and secret burials, and depending on the area, there may be occasions to eat and drink once during the cremation, or to eat and drink at the funeral during the cremation. The basic is "eat and drink twice".

I will talk about the manners of meals that are included twice in the funeral process. At the funeral, there are etiquettes that you should keep in mind for each situation, such as incense and burning incense. Funeral meal etiquette is one of them. Let's check the funeral etiquette, which is often overlooked in funeral etiquette.

There are two times to eat at the funeral! What is manners

In the course of the funeral, I mainly eat and drink twice. The first is a "night-time behavior" during the night, and the second is a "dedication" after the funeral (farewell ceremony).

In some areas, simple dishes may be served at the time of cremation. There are also places where you can eat devotion during cremation. However, it is good to remember that "eating and drinking is basically done twice at night and devotion" and "dedication is basically done during the cremation and after the funeral (farewell ceremony) regardless of after the cremation". The timing will only change slightly depending on the area and funeral style.

Each funeral meal has its own etiquette and meaning. Eating and drinking are often cut off at family funerals and secret funerals. If you eat and drink only once, or if you only eat and drink once during the cremation, determine whether the meal is "wake-up" or close to "dedication" regardless of the funeral form. Then, if you respond to each of the funeral meal manners, there will be no mistakes.

We will check step by step about the meal etiquette at the funeral for each of the two eating and drinking timings, "Wake behavior" and "Dedication".

About basic meal manners for funerals

The basic etiquette when having a meal at a funeral is "don't hesitate to take a cup and put chopsticks on the meal." It is a meal that I had you serve. While having a conversation in memory of the deceased, put on chopsticks properly unless there are special circumstances.

If you cannot afford to eat, tell the mourner or monk to that effect and say hello. Meals that can be taken home can be wrapped up. If you wrap it up, say hello to the people you've been with for wake-ups and devotion, and then quit.

For wake-up behavior and devotion, it is common to ask a caterer for catered food and set meals, or to set up a seat at a restaurant that serves funeral meals. At funerals where meals are available, attendance is often confirmed in advance.

Funeral expenses vary depending on attendance. It also greatly affects the funeral preparations of the bereaved family, including the mourner. It is also an important funeral meal etiquette to reply quickly when confirmed whether or not you are attending.

In addition, for wake-up behavior and devotion, the funeral party such as the mourner confirms the number in advance and places an order with the caterer. It is a funeral etiquette not only to reply early to make it easier to determine the number, but also not to increase the number of attendees that the other party did not expect.

Increasing the number to the limit will put a lot of trouble on the other party. Even if you bring your child, you may need to prepare meals depending on the age of your child. It is important to tell in advance that it is important as a funeral meal etiquette. Even though I replied that my wife will attend, if my husband also attends without contact, I will need food for my husband. I will end up. is.

Funeral meal etiquette "Wake behavior"

"Wake behavior" is a dinner party held after the wake. It is done with the meaning of aiming for condolences and monks. The menu is generally sushi and hors d'oeuvres, and drinks include juice, tea, and alcohol. Eating and drinking takes about an hour, and the mourner greets you at a good time to finish.

There are some condolences who remain after the greeting and chat, but the bereaved family is preparing for the funeral and their mind and body are tired, so it is a funeral meal to greet and quit as soon as possible without staying long. It is manners.

In addition, there are two points that I would like to keep in mind as funeral meal etiquette: "greetings" and "liquor." First of all, those who attended the wake-up meal should not drink deeply, considering that they will attend the funeral the next day or later. The mourner and the bereaved family cannot return unless all the condolences have returned. It is funeral etiquette to think about the other party and be careful not to drink alcohol and stay there until late.

Greetings to the mourner and monk when resigning. When you leave your seat, you can easily greet the condolences in the seats on either side of you. The mourners and bereaved families basically do not see off, so it is good manners to greet yourself when you resign and not ask for seeing off.

Funeral meal etiquette "Dedication"

A devotion is a dinner that takes place after a funeral. Meals are served in the sense of gratitude to those who took care of the funeral, such as monks and relatives. In the past, when the mourning was over, devotion was used as a "separate meal to return to the original meal after the mourning", but now it has a stronger meaning as a "funeral meal".

As a funeral meal etiquette, it is not much different from wake-up behavior. It is important for funeral meal etiquette to "put chopsticks properly", "do not drink too much", and "state the number of attendees clearly in advance". In addition, the mourners will be very tired because the meal will be served after a series of funeral rituals have been completed. It is also a funeral etiquette to quit early after eating and drinking and greeting without staying for a long time.

In funeral meal etiquette, we also want to give consideration to the mourner and the bereaved family.


The funeral is the "last big stage" of someone's life. Since it is an important ceremony to see off an important family member for the bereaved family, I would like to make it a funeral that says, "It was a good ceremony" and "I think he also left with peace of mind" while observing basic etiquette. However, in order to have a good funeral, it is important to keep track of basic matters such as funeral meal etiquette. Funerals are not on a daily basis. That is why it is not uncommon for people to forget about funeral meal etiquette until the next funeral.

Perhaps the most important thing at a funeral is to send out the deceased with all one's might. The basic etiquette of a funeral is to understand that "do not delay", "eating and drinking is not the main place", and "it is an important place for the bereaved family and the deceased".

Funeral meal etiquette is also important. However, you don't have to put your shoulders on your shoulders if you absolutely follow the funeral etiquette. If you have any questions about funeral etiquette, it is a good idea to check with your nearest funeral shop or funeral hall.