2020/10/04 13:17:13

[Behavior / Clothing / Clothing] What is a funeral taboo?

The funeral is an important place for the deceased, the attendees, and the bereaved family. The funeral is not only a "farewell to the deceased" but also a "last place to see the face of the deceased in life".

In the farewell before the cremation, you will last see the face and body of the deceased. After the cremation, the deceased in life exists only in memory and photographs. The moment of death is also a farewell, but the funeral has an important meaning as a "place to remember at the end" and a "place to farewell to the deceased in the true sense of the word." Because of such a funeral, I want to pay attention to my actions and clothes.

What are funeral behavior and clothing taboos? What should I be careful about not to violate the funeral taboo? As a funeral knowledge you should know, I will talk about funeral taboos in terms of behavior and clothing.

What is the basic dress and behavior taboo at a funeral?

You don't have to think hard about funeral taboos. There is no time to start worrying, "Is the same mourning dress a pants style?" "Is it a skirt?" "Is it rude even with the cloth of the mourning dress?"

So funeral taboos can get confusing if you think too much about them. You don't have to worry if you narrow down the points and remember them. Let's easily hold down the two points of "behavior" and "dress".

Funeral taboo / behavior

The funeral is not only a place to send out the deceased, but also a place for attendees and bereaved families to face the death of the deceased and to bite into the memories of the deceased. For the deceased, it is also a place for relatives and attendees to send out, and a place for the closing of the big story of life.

It is necessary to be aware that "some people are sad," "some people are depressed," "a place for ceremonies," and "a place for mourning." On the contrary, behaviors that go against these meanings or interfere with them are funeral taboos.

Chatting with the mourner or the bereaved family or not observing the ritual time may delay the funeral. If you can't attend, try to get in touch early, and if you don't say "I can't go, can I leave it?" And no greeting, it's rude to the funeral organizer. It's not a funeral taboo, but it's important to contact the mourners early so that they don't get in trouble and cooperate with the smooth progress of the funeral.

Also, since it is a place of sadness, it is safer to refrain from talking loudly while chatting and talking about family ceremonies. You need to be careful as a funeral taboo. Even if it is recommended by the mourner, it is also a funeral taboo to drink too much alcohol at a seat such as a wake, or to drink alcohol until late.

Not a banquet hall. It is not a place for chats, private status reports, or chats. If you keep the above in mind, you may be able to see the taboo of the funeral in terms of behavior.

Funeral taboo and clothing

I also want to know the funeral taboo in terms of clothing as basic knowledge.

Attendance at the funeral is basically a "mourning dress". However, it does not have to be the clothes you purchased as mourning clothes, and you can wear a black jacket or skirt without any problems.

Avoid shiny items such as enamel, leather, flashy embroidery, and sheer items, and if you get lost, choose something simpler than flashy or elaborate to reduce mistakes. It is safer to avoid decorations such as beads and lace. If you don't know, consult a suit store and they will tell you what to wear without touching the funeral taboo.

Also, both men and women want to be careful about accessories, watches, and bags.

Pearl necklaces and earrings are commonly worn by women at funerals and are not taboo for funerals. It is safer to avoid glittering colored stones and conspicuous chains. Similarly, for both men and women, put a gorgeous watch in the back at the funeral home and wear it again when you leave the venue.

As for the bag, it is basically the same black as the mourning dress. It's best to avoid items with a flashy brand logo, enamel, glittering beads, or colorful embroidery or marks.

Sometimes funeral taboos don't become taboos?

However, there are cases where the basic funeral taboo does not become a "funeral taboo". These are "cases in which clothes and actions are specified" and "cases in which the faith of the deceased or relatives is matched".

Funerals do not necessarily have to be held at the funeral hall, but may be held at public halls or halls. There are cases where concerts are held, choruses and operas are performed according to the hobbies and tastes of the deceased. In addition, if the deceased loves alcohol, he actually holds a standing party and serves alcohol.

Sometimes it is held under the name of "farewell party" separately from the funeral, but in recent years, many people think that "the funeral format does not have to be too rigid" and "let's see off the deceased", so it is not always necessary. It is not held in a general funeral style, but some homes hold funerals as a peaceful party that includes offerings.

If there is a designated dress or action at the funeral where you are required to attend, it is a good idea to follow it. "Please come in a gorgeous style instead of a mourning dress." "We are preparing sake from the brewery that the deceased liked. Please come in a relaxed style, not in a very cramped style." If there is, it is Yabo who stubbornly thinks that "funerals are taboo other than mourning clothes." Let's match the designation of the other party.

In addition, Japanese funerals are often Buddhist, but they may be held in other forms according to the beliefs of the deceased or relatives. If you have clothes other than mourning clothes or a tie color designation according to the funeral style and belief, it is better to match it with the funeral taboo of the attendee rather than the general funeral taboo.


You don't have to be too angry with the funeral taboo. Also, you don't have to think too hard. In recent years, there are various funeral forms. The basic funeral taboo is the same, but depending on the form of the funeral, "the funeral taboo is no longer a funeral taboo at all."

A dance party will be held at the end of the funeral for those who enjoyed ballroom dancing. In this case, the ballroom dance dress is basically taboo as a funeral outfit, but at the funeral it is not taboo at all and fits the purpose of the funeral. It is important to have a basic attitude of "there is a funeral taboo, but we should flexibly match the funeral format."

It's important to be aware of the taboos of clothing and behavior, but funerals are, in the first place, a place to say goodbye to the deceased, not to compete for or criticize clothing or behavior. I think the most important things are "matching", "awareness that it is a place to say goodbye", and "considering attendees and bereaved families".